Edward’s 4th Month Update

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June 21st was not just the longest day of the year, it was also the day our dear Edward turned 4 months! Shortly after breakfast that day, we drove to the more private part of the Southampton beach. Edward fell asleep in his car seat so we left him buckled, took the seat with us, and prepped him under the shade facing the water.

The beach was extremely quiet. No other people in sight, but us. His dad and his dad’s friend visiting us from Germany wrestled in the sand; while his sisters and I collected some shells to pass the time. Edward woke up eventually, and happily watched everything that was going on.

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Where is the beauty in the Now?

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Where is the Beauty in the Now?

by Zhi Olson

 

Where is the beauty in the now?

Is it in the fresh snow covering the ground?

Or in the infectious laughter of a toddler running around?

Could it be in the warmth of the fireplace with its flickering flames?

Or in the innocent face of a newborn sleeping, and its delicate frame?

 

Where is the beauty in the now?

Is it in the honest apology for something done wrong?

Or in the gentle embrace of forgiveness and a beautiful song?

Perhaps it is in the sweet scent of a baby’s breath after nursing?

Or in the genuine smile they freely give when joy fills their being? Continue reading

Edward’s Baby Photos

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I’d like to get this post out before March officially ends. I had so many unwritten drafts tucked in my mind, I am seriously having a mental overload of what I wish to write but never got to. I keep reminding myself that this is temporary. That someday I will be able to pen them down. Yes. Someday. Maybe. With 3 kiddos age 3 and below, who knows when that might be.

Of course a lot has happened since my last post was published. I am not getting into grueling details of what had transpired during those weeks. I fear I might bore you to death if you ever do read any of my blurbs from beginning to end. And for those who actually do, thank you for reaching out to me and sending me your private messages. I am very encouraged by your words. Just knowing the fact that someone actually read them brings me joy. One of the comments I received was someone reading my last post thrice. Have you seen how long it was? If not, go ahead and read it so we can both say “wow”. That’s commitment there, I tell you. As moms we are connected in so many ways. Thank you for sharing this journey with me! Continue reading

It’s a Boy!

I was 3 days over my due date when contractions finally started around 5:30 in the morning. They were about 10-12 minutes apart lasting a minute or less. At 7 AM I decided to take a warm shower. This time the contractions were getting closer together and getting a little bit more intense. My husband paged my midwife on call. She called us within minutes and she spoke to me and listened as I had my contractions. We agreed to meet at the birthing center around 9:30.

I had breakfast with the girls as my husband prepared the stuff we needed to bring with us. As soon as we were all set, we drove our girls to a friend’s house, and off we went to the birthing center, which was about a 40 minute drive. The contractions got to 4 minutes apart and more intense, but still manageable.

When we finally arrived at the birthing center, my midwife was already there waiting for us. I used the exercise ball a lot when I felt the contractions starting up again and walked around when it eases up. I was 8 cm dilated but cervix was still intact. My husband and I decided that if my water doesn’t break on its own around 1 PM, we would ask the midwife to intervene and break it. At 1:20 PM, Brianna, my attending midwife, broke my water. The contractions quickly became more extreme, I started grunting. The excruciating pain that I felt assured me that I am going to meet my baby soon. Barb, the other midwife that was there to assist Brianna, helped me gain back control of my breathing. I started pushing half an hour after my water broke. I pushed as arduous as I could! It was a grueling pain… but a pain with a purpose indeed! A part of me wanted to run away from the pain. My whole body twitched in agony. I clenched my husband’s hand with my left hand and the sidebar of my bed with my right as the waves of searing pain surged into my back, around my abdomen, and down below.

When I finally felt the baby’s head came out, I felt a huge sigh of relief. I waited for that quick gush of slimy body coming out of me, but that didn’t happen. That’s when I knew something was not right.

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Our oldest turned 3!

“The nights are long, but the years are short.”

I’ve read this once somewhere, and even though our oldest is just 3, it feels like the years are already slipping out of our fingers so quickly. I still distinctly remember when she was born like it was just yesterday. Now, not only do we have a 3 year old, we also have her 19 month old sister, and a baby due 2 days ago, but has decided not to come out yet.

Mira has grown quite a fascination with Paw Patrol so I thought it would be the perfect theme for her 3rd birthday party. She was pretty excited about it and helped me with some of the preparations.

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I worked on her birthday banner first.

paw patrol birthday banner.jpg Continue reading

Welcome 2018! I’m liking you already!

“And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.”

– Rainer Maria Rilke

 

Speaking of never… I’ve never seen my husband “nesting” in any of my 2 other pregnancies, except for this one, which makes me think that we are having a boy. (Of course there are other factors that made me think it’s a boy like how I am carrying this baby, my cravings, the shape of my belly according to my family and other people, etc. However, my husband still thinks we are having another girl! In 6 more weeks we will soon find out and we can’t hardly wait!).

A week ago, just before Walmart closed their doors for New Year’s eve, I asked my husband to run and get some whole milk for the girls and some other things we were running low of. The list was short. Probably just 5 items. When he came home, I was folding clothes, so he put the groceries away. Later that night, when I went to the kitchen to grab something, I saw a huge box sitting in the living room. The lights were off so I wasn’t sure what it was. In the dark, it looked like a vacuum cleaner. I was puzzled. And then he told me he bought a carpet cleaner.

A carpet cleaner? Continue reading

A tribute to my Grandma…

Three days before Christmas, my family and I held a funeral service for my grandma. It was a bittersweet visit. I was glad to be able to spend Christmas with my family again, but it was a difficult time for me as well, knowing our beloved Lola is no longer with us.

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A few days before we flew to the States to be with my family, my sister asked me to write my eulogy. I procrastinated for a while, partly because I was having a hard time to put how I feel into words. On the plane while holding our sleeping daughter in my arms, I grabbed my Ipad mini and started to write. I felt a lump on my throat after I finished the first paragraph. I had to pause and take a break. Eventually, after several attempts of finishing this eulogy, I was able to put the last words few hours before my grandma’s funeral service started.

She’s one special lady. This heartfelt eulogy is for her…

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